Today is Monday, and not a regular gym day. But in St. Louis we are expecting between 4 and 6 inches of snow. If you do not know, St. Louis has a tendency to roll up its streets when bad weather comes to town. So we went to the gym today. I promised myself that I would go a minimum of 3 days a week. Any extra days are of course a bonus. Tuesday is the usual day.
It did not really go as planned. I started on the treadmill, 10 minutes. Then I went to do some upper body weights. Upper body work is hard for me due to the repetitive stress problems that occur with my profession as a massage therapist. So the weights are light no more than 30 lbs, and that is a stretch with some moves. Then back to the treadmill. I set it for ten minutes. At about 5 I felt myself starting to limp, then a bit of pain in my right knee. This knee has had issues. So I knew it was time to stop. I knew it was time to stop for the day.
My arms are sore, and my knee is a bit tender but I cannot /will not give up. But that does not mean I want to hurt myself. I can’t afford to do that since I have to work, and my job is physical in nature.
Tomorrow my workout will come from cleaning the living room and working with the exercise bands, and doing some crunches. I will cook dinner and possibly do the dishes. I will fold laundry and basically be a bit domestic, while the winter storm rages outside.
Sometimes it is hard to stay motivated. Sometimes I want to say F**k it. But I won’t do that to myself. Could I use some help? Sure. BCC helps a lot. He is supportive, and goes with me to the gym even though he hates it. He would rather be out running the hills in the park. I can’t do that. I can’t keep up with him. He is stronger and faster than I am.
I know I should not compare myself to him; it is unfair to both of us. But it is hard. It is sometimes so much easier for a guy. I want this so much! I want to be healthier, be stronger, and be thinner. I want to wear clothes that I like, not just clothes that fit. I want to buy clothes from everyday stores, not specialty shops. I want to dance at my son’s wedding and be around to see and play with my grandbabies. I want to see my daughter begin her career and see her happy and finished with school.